Scattergunning

All over the place:

Major League Baseball has a bereavement list. Who knew?

I know he doesn't like the president; we hear it every Sunday morning, but do you wonder where John Kerry is on real issues. For that mater, where is Bono on Darfur, Barbara Streisand on the oppression of women in Islamic nations, and Michael Moore on Katie Couric's new contract?

You think your government sucks? Try this one. Pay no mind to that sneaky guy trying to buy you off . . .

Don't screw with the Easter Bunny:

"The next thing you know my wife is sucker punched by the manager, she is pulled to the ground by her hair and then the Easter Bunny jumps on top and starts punching my wife in the head."

Just another day for a typical blogger:

She smokes a cigarette. Should it be about Bush, whom she considers "malevolent," a "sociopath" and "the Antichrist"? She smokes another cigarette. Should it be about Vice President Cheney, whom she thinks of as "Satan," or about Karl Rove, "the devil"? Should it be about the "evil" Republican Party, or the "weaselly, capitulating, self-aggrandizing, self-serving" Democrats, or the Catholic Church, for which she says "I have a special place in my heart . . . a burning, sizzling, putrescent place where the guilty suffer the tortures of the damned"?

Hey, Trent, get of my side:

"It is ludicrous for the Senate to spend $700 million to destroy and relocate a rail line that is in perfect working order, particularly when it recently underwent a $250 million repair," said Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), who is planning to challenge the funding when the $106.5 billion war spending bill reaches the Senate floor.

Let me in, and everyone I know, and while you're at it, change your laws to accomodate me.

America has a seller's market in immigration, but thanks to Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law, we no longer favor skilled workers from developed nations, but instead favor unskilled immigrants from the Third World. Kennedy's bill promptly cut the number of European immigrants in half and increased Third World immigrants to 85 percent of the total.

NHL Playoffs start on the 21st - Let the good times roll! I like the Red Wings or Flames from the West and either the Flyers or Senators in the East.