Shakin' Africa

If you're not doing anything in about 10 million years . . .

They had only just stepped out of their helicopter onto the desert plains of central Ethiopia when the ground began to shake under their feet. The pilot shouted for the scientists to get back to the helicopter. And then it happened: the Earth split open. Crevices began racing toward the researchers like a zipper opening up. After a few seconds, the ground stopped moving, and after they had recovered from their shock, Ayalew and his colleagues realized they had just witnessed history. For the first time ever, human beings were able to witness the first stages in the birth of an ocean.

So far Katie Couric, Keith Olbermann and Jon Stewart have been unable to lay blame for this at the feet of George W. Bush - and they call themselves journalists . . .