Self-Importance & the Dewey Decimal System

Today is election day on the edge of The Tundra, which means we plebes get the distinct honor and high privileged of choosing from all sorts of identical Democrats all pretending they have anything in their lives besides party allegiance.

Here's a sample of folk seeking city employment on the Minneapolis Library Board. Check out the happy-talk essays from this gang, and make note of how many list all their Holy Left endorsements. They want to be on the library board SO BAD, their teeth ache:

Alan Hooker - DFL Party; AFSCME; AFL-CIO; Teamsters DRIVE; DFL Feminist Caucus; Stonewall DFL. - I seek election to . . . convey the importance of adequate library funding and explore alternative revenue sources; partner with citizens, business and community leaders to improve the marketing of libraries; ensure pro-active planning of operational budgets; support transparency in government by cablecasting/webcasting meetings and holding at least 20 percent of board meetings at community libraries.

Julie Iverson - Not seeking endorsements - Early on, about 10 (yes, really!), I began imagining running for office . . . I entered this race because of commitment to service, to building and sustaining strong resources for Minneapolis. I have a lot to learn. I also have commitment, creativity and chutzpah . . .

Laurie Savran - DFL Party; DFL Feminist Caucus; Stonewall DFL; Teamsters DRIVE; Building and Construction Trades Council; Minnesota Women's Political Caucus; Minnesota NOW PAC. - I love the Minneapolis Public Library; where community and neighborhoods vary, and patrons can call or e-mail with a query. Where children are valued as precious rubies; and the staff is respected and love their duties, and the library buildings are sustainable beauties. I still feel that books and collection are king, but technology and computers are now the thing, expanding the joy of lifelong learning. We lost State Aid and our budget is low; I will work hard to get the money to flow. Laurie loves libraries, and I want them to grow.

Eric Hinsdale - Not seeking endorsements - I so firmly believe in the importance of libraries that I have made a career working in them, doing everything from ironing labels onto books to managing computer systems. This experience has given me a perspective on libraries that no other candidate possesses . . . I am the one candidate who can fill this role.

Samantha George Smart - Minnesota Women's Political Caucus; Minnesota NOW; Union of Radical Writers and Workers - I am running . . . to open our libraries up seven days a week, with excellent access . . . dynamic and creative . . . increase literacy . . . rich and diverse . . . fully engaged . . . healthy and respected . . . social institution . . . evolving consciousness . . . human condition . . . free access . . . brilliant spectrum . . . transform injustice.

Gary Thaden - DFL Party; AFL-CIO; AFSCME; Building and Construction Trades Council; Teamsters DRIVE; Stonewall DFL; DFL Feminist Caucus. - I am committed to books and libraries, I have experience with city government and service on boards of directors . . . achieve more state funding, stronger and more active Friends groups, sale of library-related materials at library gift shops and better relations with the Minneapolis City Council and mayor.

Laura Waterman Wittstock - DFL Party; AFL-CIO; AFSCME; Stonewall DFL; Building and Construction Trades Council; Mayor R.T. Rybak; Eighth Ward Council Member Robert Lilligren; Ninth Ward Council Member Gary Schiff; Fourth Ward Council Member Barbara Johnson; Minnesota Women's Political Caucus. - I am an American Indian who has led nonprofits for 35 years, and I will bring dedicated leadership and experience to the Minneapolis Library Board . . . American Indian, African, African-American, Asian, Latino and all families invest social capital in education . . . The future of our city begins at the open doorway of our libraries.

I didn't know you sought endorsements when you wanted to head up the Librarian-Industrial Complex for Big Government. Makes me wonder what my municipal dog catcher's position is on NAFTA.