You Are So Fabulous

and we are such dolts.

There really is nothing lower on the informational food chain than the cover-to-cover puffery of Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine. Every town of size has a similar publication. They are 100% tripe, full of vapidity and shameless promotion. Their very editorial structure is printed prostitution caterting directly to society's most clueless.

One month it's some arbitrary list of best restaurants. Next month it's that Baby Mozart jive about grooming your infant for the perfect preschool. The month after that; a fantastic yarn that purports to rank local doctors, including ones who specialize in coddling your chic new ailment; the one you heard about on the Dr. Phil Power Hour. Every segment is crafted to help adult losers to find happiness in the form of a barista, delicatessen or homeopath, for which the reades are grateful becasue they don't make a move without marching orders from Glitteratti.

What, you may ask, could be more fabulous than anther article dictating your new preferred theater, dog groomer or progressive grocer? Why, to hear it from the mouths of the allegedly hip, that's what! Just click on your hipster of choice; each is more fabulous that the next, but beware; it's tough to choose when you're going deaf from the pack of phony cools all screaming "please love us" like a nest of hungry baby birds.