A New Breed of Criminal.

Many years ago, I dated a girl who, through no active or passive act on her part, found herself the owner of a yellow-over-white 1972 Oldsmobile Cutlass convertible. It was no 442, and it was not perfect, but it was cool, and quite a non-typical ride for a high school student in the mid-80's. After about 7 months, including a summer, she got rid of it for, uh, something else. For her, the Olds was big and used too much gas. When she unloaded it for a terribly plain, downright sad, and power-free alternative, she couldn't have been more pleased. For me it was the beginning of the end of us.

In her brain, there was not one receptor for appreciation of the uniqueness of individual automobiles, and I can accept that. Not everyone has that gene. At least she sold it to someone who would love it, and did not intentionally send it to it's premature and calculated death:

"I want to see the grille smashed to pieces in the first hit," Neubauer said. "I want to destroy the car for some reason." Yeah, you heard him right. The Edsel's an American gladiator, not some elegant dinosaur trotted out for parade duty. Jaye Neubauer's Edsel is ready for demolition derby. The collector car and 17 others from the tail-fin era will fight to the death in a clash of the sheet-metal titans tonight as a rare twist on a grandstand favorite -- the smash-'em-up demolition derby -- gets underway at the Pine County fairgrounds in Pine City.

Jay Neubauer needs a swift and sure adjustment. Not only has he forfeited his membership in male society, he has forever made himself an enemy of car people everywhere.

There are few situations on Earth as tragic as classic cars falling into the hands of those who, not only don't appreciate them, but would seek their irreparable destruction. Hey, Jay, smash something that no one will ever miss, you idiot, and one day, when you arrive at the pearly gates, don't be surprised when you are turned away with extreme prejudice.