So dirtbag #1 and #2 are spraying gangster graffiti on a house in broad daylight. Dirtbag #3 comes out of the house shooting, plugging either #1 or #2. The non-plugged dirtbag (1 or 2) drives the plugged dirtbag to the county catch-all hospital where the plugged dirtbag expires. Dirtbag #3 is arrested hours later.
After the police arrived to establish a perimeter, and it was safe for local politicians to come out of their bunkers, city councilman Gary Schiff, who represents this cozy corner of Murderapolis strode to the TV crew for with his Fred Rogers-like tone.
"We've seen the pressure of too many after school programs being cut, too many parents forced to work three or four jobs, and they don't know what their kids are up to," Schiff says.That's right Gary, if there was more taxpayer-funded opportunity for these kids to finger paint and read Robert Frost, I'm sure they would not be part of this inter-gang war on the city streets. I'm also very sure that the parents of these dirtbags are all gainfully employed to the point they're never at home, too. Another minute of tape and Schiff'd be blaming President Bush.
Good Lord, no wonder Minneapolis is in such a pitiful condition. The place is run by adult children.