Pow!

With regard to Sarah Palin's alleged inexperience cancelling out Obama's, uh , resume; Mark Styen cuts to the chase:

And for the gun-totin' Miss Wasilla then to go on to become Governor while having five kids makes it an even more uniquely American story. Next to her resume, a guy who's done nothing but serve in the phony-baloney job of "community organizer" and write multiple autobiographies looks like just another creepily self-absorbed lifelong member of the full-time political class that infests every advanced democracy.

Pork Abuse Goes Punished

Sure it's sort of an odd story, even for this blog. The reason it's here is because I've met the pig.

The jury deliberated for one day after hearing testimony about the death of "Porky," a 6-year-old hog who belonged to Aaron O'Brien, resident manager of a 130-acre lychee farm above Mililani Mauka subdivision. "It's pretty cool," O'Brien said yesterday in a telephone interview. "It's about time that something's being done about these things."

Calarruda was hunting wild pigs when his dogs cornered Porky in the farm carport on Oct. 22, 2006. Although a resident told him that he was on private property and the pig was a pet, Calarruda went into the carport and stabbed the pig to death.

Wow. Quite the brave hunter - corners a tame pig in a carport on private property with a pack of dogs. Yupper - that's real Hemmingway stuff.

Because the animal, which had been featured on an Island Air commercial, was valued at more than $2,000, Calarruda was charged with the Class C felony charge, punishable by five years in prison. Calarruda is currently serving a 10-year term for a 2006 firearm offense.

Looks like the law finally got around to taking out the trash. Hopefully there's another prosecution coming:

Calarruda's girlfriend, Rickelle Sylva, yesterday testified that she and Calarruda were eating dinner together at their home in Wai'anae when the killing occurred. Calarruda's friend, Don Pogtis Jr., also testified that he was the one responsible for the pig's killing.

Prosecutors, however, say Calarruda was the pig hunter in the area on the night of Oct. 22, 2006, who followed his dogs onto the private land and watched as Porky, who had been captured as a piglet and raised as a pet for six years by farm manager Aaron O'Brien, was slaughtered by the dogs.

Hamming it Up

I don't get where Jim Nobles gets off causing problems for the Minnesota DNR. Doesn't he know that it's just tax money getting pissed away here and there's ALWAYS more to be had someplace:

The Minnesota Department of Natural Resources violated state law and inappropriately spent nearly $300,000 to host three days of training and amusements for U.S. and Canadian game wardens last year, the state Legislative Auditor said today.

$300,000; what's the big deal? Just raise new taxes somewhere else.

The auditor's report said the department "did not control fund-raising activities or ensure compliance with state law and department policy" and it said the DNR commissioner's office authorized a fund-raising letter that violated state law against soliciting money by state employees.

C'mon, it's not like conservation officers in uniform personally solicited donations.

The auditors also found that conservation officers in uniform personally solicited donations(!) The auditors concluded that most of the $388,000 in state spending on the three-day conference was "inappropriate." For example, the department paid the admission fee not only for conservation officers who attended the conference, but also for other DNR staff members and spouses who worked as conference staff.

Uh, WHOOPS!

"Although the conference brochure stated that the fee for conservation officers was $175, the department actually paid $260 for each of its 205 officers," providing two outside groups with $17,425 in extra money, the report said.

How are they going to tell us how many walleye are left if they can't count?

"We didn't find malicious intent on the part of individuals. It was really more of an organizational failure," Nobles said in an interview.

That doesn't make me any less furious.

The report also said the department inappropriately spent money on travel by state employees to Arizona and Quebec to plan for the conference.

Hell, just fly to Paris for few weeks while you're at it. Ever notice government folks travelling on our dime never go to shitty places like Detroit or Newark?

Three DNR employees, who are current or former officers of the union, refused to be interviewed under oath, citing their Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination, Nobles said.

What? Union stooges hiding the facts from the people that they purport to serve? I'm shocked - SHOCKED I tell you.

Nobles said the money for the conference largely came out of the DNR's fish and game fund, which gets its income from hunting and fishing licenses. Holsten said the department reimbursed that fund from other DNR monies shortly after the initial news report.

All that money shuffling around - It's like a Three-card Monte game.

Col. Mike Hamm, head of the enforcement division, and his wife, Capt. Cathy Hamm, a manager in the division who played a key role in planning the event, have been on paid administrative leave since May.

I'm actually pretty surprised to see any names named. Usually there's some counter intuitive data privacy cloak whipped into place whenever state employees misuse public money.

Go get 'em, Mr. Audit Guy.

Phil Hill 1927-2008

AutoWeek, very appropriately, remembers him with an essay by Denise McCluggage:

(I)f Phil were Hamlet, his most famed of soliloquies would be delivered between chuckles with even a giggle here or there, because no one better than Phil appreciates the high comedy mortals enact on this sphere or the humor inherent in dilemma. How else could a man look over his colleagues who are deeply involved in making red cars go faster than green or silver ones and comment, "Sometimes I think we are a bunch of children," laugh, cinch on his helmet and join the game, a game that could momentarily claim his life. Or at another time, when the excited questions in the pits are: Who will get the fastest lap? Who will qualify for first place on the grid? Phil, as involved as any of them, pulls back to observe: "It's a hell of a measure of a man, isn't it? A lap time?"

----------------------------------------

Ferrari is the only factory he has ever raced for, and he has waited out one disappointment after another in the changeable climate of the Commendatore's favor. And it is not because Phil has had no place to go, although at times he felt that way. Long before Ferrari finally entrusted the champion-to-be with a Formula I car, Phil's talents were not going unappreciated elsewhere. "I could have had him on with me at Maserati," Stirling Moss said several years ago. Stirling was a little annoyed at Phil's stubbornness in insisting on it being Ferrari and not even wanting to talk about any other prospect for fear of alienating his chances there. But then, Phil Hill is not a simple person to be rendered into crystal by a friendly, credit psychoanalysis. One thing emerges, however: Phil's consistency in holding to known anxieties in preference to the anxiety of the unknown. Now, this should mark him as a rank conservative, shouldn't it? Which makes it even more strange that life cast him as a racing driver.

----------------------------------------

Several months (after winning the world championship), he went completely unrecognized on a television show in which a panel was supposed to pick "the real Phil Hill." But perhaps that was asking too much for anyone. For which is the real Phil Hill? A man whose high point of the year was either hearing Joan Sutherland at La Scala, winning a concours prize with his Pierce, breaking nine minutes at the 'Ring (the first driver to do that) or discovering a treasure trove of old piano rolls for his Knabe reproducer piano? It is likely that the real Phil Hill is forever hidden from us all, because, as a friend who recently met Phil commented, "He's tough." "What do you mean, tough?" I scoffed. "I mean he is tough. You wouldn't know it to look at him, or to talk to him, but when you see what he has done, and how he's done it--well, he's tough." Noah Webster: "Tough: Having the quality of being strong but flexible and not brittle; yielding to force without breaking; capable of resisting great strain without coming apart. "My friend is right. Phil Hill is tough. And you can't say the same for Hamlet."

Magnificent writing for a magnificent driver.

The Disease that Keeps on Giving

Recipe for disaster:

• Take one part "turning food into fuel,"
• Add two parts "it's actually lousy fuel anyway" and
• Add one part "screws up what you put it in."

Mix all together while blindfolded to reality. Force it upon consumers. Serves one foolish nation.

My Kinda Democrat

A Mile-High Seinfled Moment

One of my favorite gags from the show Seinfeld was when Jerry's scheming mailman would drop his fly into the proverbial ointment.

The way it usually worked, the weekly episodic house of cards would fall and when the source of the menace became evident, Jerry would pause, clench his fists and teeth, and knowingly and exasperatedly speak the name of the nemesis - "NEWMAN!"

I think I saw something very similar from Hillary Clinton last night. She was on the podium in Denver last night, selling her brand of water to those who've made themselves thirsty. As her yarn was spun and her political career was flashing before her eyes, I think I saw a moment where she nearly mouthed the name of her nemesis; the one who initiated that big, slow, ocean liner-like turn that ran Hillary's aspirations aground - "OPRAH!"

Google Search Battle

I had responsible leadership on my mind today and that inspiried a semi-scientific experiment:

Google Louisiana's Governor Bobby Jindal and Hurricane Gustav - 3510 hits.

Then Google New Orleans' Mayor Ray Nagin and Hurricane Gustav - 266 hits.

Just sayin' . . .

Guarantee for Air Time

Want to make sure you're on the Tee Vee news? Just try grabbing the camera and you'll be nationwide, pal.

Not even the emotionally charged speech by Sen. Ted Kennedy kept corporate lobbyists from carrying out their multi-million dollar campaign to wine and dine and influence Democratic lawmakers at a series of lavish parties last night in Denver.

The millions being spent on entertaining and parties is a result of loopholes created by Congress in its own ethics reform law passed last year, the Honest Leadership and Open Government Act, Miller says.

For example, while the new law bans certain seated dinners, it does not ban "finger food" being passed, as long as no one is sitting down. So Denver chefs have been told to find ways to turn their creations into food that can be served on a toothpick or a spoon, but not forks or knives.

Frank Lautenberg - what a wonderful example of malignant government. I am confused, though; on CNN they pretty much said that the whole city of Denver stopped to weep for Ted. Guess they didn't have all the facts.

Sponsorships at the DNC

The building is named for a can of pop. The booze is paid for by the phone company. Even the Loser's wardrobe was sponsored by a maker of ultra-absorband towels. Look at the picture and tell me I'm wrong.

Change in the Mile High Air

Thou shalt not speak his name:

Obama not only aired a response ad to the spot linking him to William Ayers, but he sought to block stations the commercial by warning station managers and asking the Justice Department to intervene. The campaign also planned to compel advertisers to pressure stations that continue to air the anti-Obama commercial.

Obama's target is an ad by the conservative American Issues Project, a nonprofit group that questions Obama's ties to Ayers, a founder of the Weather Underground organization that took credit for a series of bombings, including nonfatal explosions at the Pentagon and U.S. Capitol four decades ago.

"It seems they protest a bit too much," American Issues Project spokesman Christian Pinkston said. "They're going all of these routes — through threats, intimation — to try to thwart the First Amendment here because they don't have an argument on merit."

Here's more from the Land of Make Believe:

No matter what help Barack Obama might get from Sen. Joseph Biden, his newly named vice presidential running mate won't give Obama much cover on the Tony Rezko front. Biden has described himself as a 30-year friend of a key figure in the Rezko trial who's pleaded guilty to a federal extortion charge in Chicago and is awaiting sentencing.

Joseph Cari Jr., who took part in an $850,000 kickback scheme, was Joe Biden's Midwest field director.

Earlier this year, in a bid to distance Obama from Rezko, the Illinois senator's campaign fund gave away to charity an amount equal to what had been contributed to the Democratic presidential hopeful by Cari, Cherry and Licata.

The Gun Was Smoking Earlier Than Reported

I smell a big, fat Putin:

Georgia didn't start it on August 7, nor on any other date. The South Ossetian militia started it on August 6 when its fighters fired on Georgian peacekeepers and Georgian villages with weapons banned by the agreement hammered out between the two sides in 1994. At the same time, the Russian military sent its invasion force bearing down on Georgia from the north side of the Caucasus Mountains on the Russian side of the border through the Roki tunnel and into Georgia. This happened before Saakashvili sent additional troops to South Ossetia and allegedly started the war.

“A key tool that the Soviet Union used to keep its empire together,” Worms said to me, “was pitting ethnic groups against one another. They did this extremely skillfully in the sense that they never generated ethnic wars within their own territory. But when the Soviet Union collapsed it became an essential Russian policy to weaken the states on its periphery by activating the ethnic fuses they planted.

“They tried that in a number of countries. They tried it in the Baltic states, but the fuses were defused. Nothing much happened. They tried it in Ukraine. It has not happened yet, but it's getting hotter. They tried it in Moldova. There it worked, and now we have Transnitria. They tried it in Armenia and Azerbaijan and it went beyond their wildest dreams and we ended up with a massive, massive war.

It's long but very thorough and a must read if you value being smart about what you say.

Tattooed Motorcyclists Roaming the Streets

Scary looking biker dudes are in the streets and they are of one mind.

Having run in crowds where animal abuse was rampant, often involving pit bull fights, the men volunteered at shelters and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty Toward Animals, and they tried to solve cases of missing or abused animals that other organizations had neither the time nor the resources to address.

My Oh My . . .

Another reason Cadillac is the brand icon that it is.

More photos and info of this stunner at Rod & Custom Magazine.

It's Fair Time!

After 9 days of swinging the hammer, I took a day for myself.

The Minnesota State Fair has lotsa stuff to see, like a garbage truck with a flame job.

The have draft horses with some real size to 'em.

There are very helfpul 4H exhibits.

Catfish and Shandy - they sure feed ya right.

Spent some time watching rural kids show next week's spareribs.

Even Amy Winehouse was there.

Welfare Mothers Really Do Make Better Lovers

Over at Carpe Diem, Neil Young was justified on page 7:

The 1996 Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act (PRWORA) gave states greater flexibility to formulate and implement initiatives to reduce welfare dependency and encourage employment for members of low-income families with children. For the nation, in 2006, 10 years after passage of the Act, the birth rate for women 15 to 50 years old receiving public assistance income in the last 12 months was 155 births per 1,000 women, about three times the rate for women not receiving public assistance (53 births per 1,000 women).

Econ 101: The more you subsidize something, the more of it you get.

Every Family Has One

Yes, the ugly sibling happens to the best of them.

He's Just So CUUUUUTE!!!!

(sing song-y) I know a see-cret!

Barack Obama said Thursday he's chosen his running mate, but coyly kept all the details to himself as he campaigned . . . in Illinois.

Coy=puke

He seemed to relish the frustrations of scores of reporters following him this week in anticipation of the announcement. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he said with a grin when asked by an Associated Press reporter when the text would be sent.

How utterly juvinile.

"I've made the selection, that's all you're gonna get," Obama said . . .

Can't you just see his smarmy dimples?

"You've Had it"

As PJ O'Rourke coined - Age and guile beat youth, "innocence," and a bad haircut any day of the week.

According to police, Smith ordered the boy to dial 911 and then gave him some advice. "Dial 911 and don't attempt to throw the phone at me, or do anything bad or I'll just shoot you," Smith said. When police arrived, they took the teen into custody.

Charges have been filed against the boy and an alleged accomplice.

What a cool story; there is no bad news here.

Except to the sickos so backward in their sense of freedom that they would have preferred to have an 85-year old woman robbed that to have her use a personal firearm to defend herself, her property and her liberty.

You and What Army?

So this was stuck to a gasoline pump near the farm:

I have some bad news for the gas station, the Minnesota PCA, Al Gore, the ethanol mafia, the greenie apparatchiks, and others who can't be concerned with the complexities of daily life: I put this 92-octane brew in a 2002-model year car! Ha! You are not going to box me into that low-rent vodka you call 87-octane gasoline.

I purchased a car (not my flickr image) that has a 9.5 to 1 compression ration and a turbocharger. Volkswagen, the manufacturer (who knows metric tons more than the above decal authors), recommends 92-octane for the engine. Therefore I will seek out and purchase 92-octane gasoline for my car; which inconveniently does not conform to the half-assed vagary of the above decal.

To illustrate my passion around this point, I wonder how much fun I'd have placing irrelevant regulations on something I could not care less about. Maybe I can force people only use lard for helping baked goods out of a pan and forbid its use as a baking ingredient. Oh, lard makes your cakes bake up tall and moist the way you like? Tough. I, an non-baker, have forbid it for your own good. See; I'm the authority and the choice is no longer yours.

Hey - you with those athletic shoes, doing household chores; put on proper shoes. You aren't competing in anything. This isn't a sport. Put on sensible, more rigid shoes. As someone who doesn't give a rip about shoes or your choice of footwear, I'm going to not allow you to use athletic footwear unless you are participating in an organized municipal athletic contest. I know better, see, because I am the authority here.

When the man comes for me, I'm going to claim my Vee Dub is a collector car. When they reject that claim because it doesn't fit their world view and I'm taken away, remember me and wonder who they'll come for next.

The Commercial That Started it All for Me

It would take 10 years, but I reamin a GTI man.

Doo Wop Soothes the Savege Beasts

Let's see the Dog Whisperer do this.

Satuday Night; What To Do?

Maybe I'll go see who's at the nightclub . . .

Crybabies in the News

Reasonable Person: "What are you majoring in?"
Professional Protester: "Moving the goal posts."

The visitors will have to follow rules when it comes to staying in Macalester students' dorm rooms and officials say there will be no camping. A student group called Students for a Democratic Society had requested the accommodations.

The group had wanted Macalester the bend the rules (because they are SO special and self-important) for a few days so that visitors would be guaranteed a place to stay. Now the group is accusing college officials of missing a prime opportunity to live up to its commitment to civic engagement.

Oh, that creepy Macalester College; they say they are trying to play by their own rules, but they clearly don't understand just how bad these children hate George W. Bush (who isn't running for anything).

By the way, these screaming children seem to have conveniently forgotten how Macalester is actually living up to it's stated commitment to civic engagement - it's housing the patchouli gang for (you just know) less per night than the Best Western. Do you think, for one second, they'd open their doors to the College Republicans?

Bulwer-Lytton 2008

My favorites from the whole list:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped "Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J."

-Garrison Spik Washington, D.C.

"Die, commie pigs!" grunted Sergeant "Rocky" Steele through his cigar stub as he machine-gunned the North Korean farm animals.

-Dave Ranson Calgary, Alberta

Mike Hummer had been a private detective so long he could remember Preparation A, his hair reminded everyone of a rat who'd bitten into an electrical cord, but he could still run faster than greased owl snot when he was on a bad guy's trail, and they said his friskings were a lot like getting a vasectomy at Sears.

-Robert B. Robeson Lincoln, NE

Winner: Fantasy Fiction"Toads of glory, slugs of joy," sang Groin the dwarf as he trotted jovially down the path before a great dragon ate him because the author knew that this story was a train wreck after he typed the first few words.

-Alex Hall Greeley, CO

The mongrel dog began to lick her cheek voraciously with his sopping wet tongue, so wide and flat and soft, a miniature pink fleshy cape soaked through and oozing with liquid salivary gratitude; after all, she had rescued him from the clutches of Bernard, the curmudgeonly one-eyed dogcatcher, whose own tongue -- she remembered vividly the tongues of all her lovers -- was coarse and lethargic, like a slug in a sandpaper trenchcoat.

-Christopher Wey Pittsburgh, PA

Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater - love touches you, and marks you forever.

-Beth Fand Incollingo Haddon Heights, NJ

Timothy Hanson, Commander of the 43rd Space Regiment in the 52nd Battalion on board the USAOPAC (United Space Alliance Of Planets Attack Carrier) and second in command to Admiral L. R. Morris of the USAOP Space Command, awoke early for breakfast.

-Joe Schulman Cartersville, GA

The dual-headed Zhiltoids from Beta Quadrant in the Crab Nebula, who lived entirely on a diet of steaming hot asphalt, thought they had died and gone to heaven upon landing in the Midtown Mall of Fresno, California on the planet Earth during the month they called 'July'.

-Gregory Homer Sacramento, CA

"Let's see what this baby can do, Virgil," said Wyatt, as he floored the Charger, brushing a Dart out of the way, sideswiping an oncoming Lancer, rear-ending a Diplomat, and demolishing a row of Rams before catapulting head-on into the sheriff's Viper -- realizing that we'd indeed missed the turn-off to Abilene and ended up instead, in Dodge City.

-Paul Curtis Randburg, South Africa

Her lips were full and wanting in the kind of way that your tongue anticipates the happy burn of Hunan beef followed by the cooling swill of cheap beer, but never a malt liquor, as that would bruise the delicate tang of monosodium glutamate, the kind that only Sue Hong uses, that probably exacerbates her water retention, causing her lips to be unnaturally full and plump and always thirsty.

-Larry Davick San Francisco, CA

Properly Boiled Down

I find Adam Platt sometimes agreeable but always thoughtful. With regard to the upcoming Republican National Convention in Saint Paul, he's nailed it but good:

This convention was sought out by our Democratic mayors and Democrat leaning Congressional delegation as an economic development tool. They didn’t just bid for the DNC. They went for whichever one would bite. If we didn’t want the RNC,
we should have decided that beforehand. (Or we can let RT know at the ballot box in 2009. But we won’t because we are suckers for well-meaning earnestness and ineffectuality.)

I have to laugh after reading that several members of the Minneapolis City Council will be on the line in St. Paul protesting. It’s the usual suspects: the windmill tilters, the circus haters, the perpetual victims, the folks who spend the bulk of their time trying to solve social problems beyond their reach rather than figuring out how to make the city work. Councilmember Cam Gordon notes (in the Southwest Journal article), to his chagrin, that despite participating in decades of protests, protesting doesn’t seem to affect real change. Ding, ding, ding!

I wonder if the terms of former Minneapolis City Council member (and current convicted felon) Dean Zimmerman's probation will let him into my town to hurl his pathetic brickbats.

Speaking of the RNC convention, check out what type of flunkie the Mainstream Media relies upon to ply you with information:

With just two weeks to go until the Democratic vice presidential candidate is scheduled to speak at the convention in Minneapolis, it's crunch time for the VP wannabes.

Sorry, Vaughn; the convention is in Saint Paul. And it's the Republican convention. Other than those two inconveniently glaring errors, most of the rest of that sentence is correct.

Ideal Summer Night

The moon is nearly full with that soft yellow tint from the humidity. The just-finished cedar deck chairs still emulate Eau de Waterproofing. The cigar is Dominican, the beer Czech and the dog is descended from Duetchland. Even the famous mosquito is absent.

Es una noche muy buena.

Attractions at a Sixth-Century Theme Park

Welcome to Dark Ages Revival Land! There won't be thrill rides, festive parades, colorful food or family fun, but you can expect your goat to be offed:

Hameed al-Hayyes, a Sunni elder, told Reuters: "They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men." ucumbers, only men."

Other farcical stipulations include an edict not to buy or sell ice-cream, because it did not exist in the time of the Prophet, while hair salons and shops selling cosmetics have also been bombed.

If there's any good news here, it's that average folk in Iraq are fast growing weary of the fanatical whackjobs trying to beat them backwards by about a thousand years. Praise Allah, I guess, but do NOT pass the pickles!

Obama; He Saves!

Of course there's a video clip:

Of course the Russians complied with (Obama's) request. They've also started inflating their tires in order to reduce domestic demand and free up oil for export markets. It's like we don't even need to elect Obama to the White House--he can stop the rise of the seas, heal the planet, and bring us peace in our time just by issuing press releases from the comfort of his Hawaiian retreat.

Actually, Russia seems to have blown off that whole ceasefire thing, so maybe Obama can get back on the phone or something.

Do Not Want

Um . . . welcome home?

Noel Hanson forgave his wife for trying to kill him in December. On Monday, five hours after Sandra Hanson got out of jail and returned to the couple's Blaine home to begin serving her probation sentence, Noel Hanson wound up dead.

There might be a country music song here waiting to get out.

Maybe He Had Tran Fats in the Hour Before His Swim

Now remember children, before you do anything, make sure you get permission from mommy the city of Minneapolis:

A Minneapolis man went for a swim in Lake Nokomis Tuesday night, only to find Minneapolis Park Police waiting for him when he got out. Officers cited 41-year-old Tom Kleven for swimming too far. Kleven, who is training for a triathlon later this year, said he was attempting to swim shore-to-shore around 7:30 p.m.

Maybe the statute he violated was created to keep lousy swimmers from having their self esteem damaged by this evil go-getter.

"I kind of asked them, 'am I the person to be reprimanded?' and they said 'probably . . . you're the person to be fined,' said Kleven. Officers cited him for misdemeanor unauthorized beach-swim.Kleven faces a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Well, yea; I mean can we really have the nurturing teat of government allow its adult citizen residents to swim willy-nilly across a public lake?

"We should be allowed to swim in the lake wherever we want to," said Kleven.

Now stop with that silly talk, mere plebe. Don't you know that in Minneapolis the only freedoms come from progressive and expensive government ?

The Minneapolis Park Board rules state anyone who wants to swim across the lake needs to get a $115 permit so a lifeguard and boat can follow them. "We're really concerned about everybody's safety," said Minneapolis Park Police Sgt. Fred McCormick.

Way to go, Minneapolis; now get some one over to my house to make sure I'm handling raw chicken properly, wipe my neighbor's ass while you 're out this way and make sure the lady down the block has her thermostat set in accordance with Central Planning.

Since the offense is a misdemeanor, Kleven, who is a physician in St. Paul, will have to report the incident every time he renews his license.

That's double plus good to know because I, for one, will not allow such a notorious and heinous criminal to look into my ears and nose, that's for sure.

The Disease That is John Edwards

This story is so rich on so many levels: First, not only did this insufferable fink's doinking around take measurable time off his wife's remaining life and take a massive dump on his family and all the drones that supported him with time and money, he was clearly ready to accept the nomination only to have it all blow up in the face of half the electorate once it came out. And it always comes out. His narcissism would have handed it all to McCain or some much less-worthy opponent.

My Pretty Pony finally copped to his lies on the same Friday the Olympics started and Russia killed 2,000 civilians. He was so hoping for 'below the fold' on this one. And if you could stomach his smarm with Bob Woodruff, all you got was a reminder about how everything is all about him. He now has to make sure the terminally ill Mrs. Edwards is on the Edwards bandwagon:

Edwards declares "it's not possible that [Rielle Hunter's] child could be mine," adding that he's "happy" to take a paternity test and "truly hopeful that a test will be done." The next day Rielle Hunter's lawyer says "Rielle will not participate in DNA testing." Are you buying this? For one thing, if Edwards is really certain he isn't the father of the kid, wouldn't he have demanded a paternity test to clear his name, not just indicated his hope for a test? ... Too late to change the tone now! P.S.-Story #2 is Elizabeth's too: Note also that it's not just John Edwards denying his paternity, it's his wife Elizabeth. In her Kos post she writes: Because of a recent string of hurtful and absurd lies in a tabloid publication, because of a picture falsely suggesting that John was spending time with a child it wrongly alleged he had fathered outside our marriage, our private matter could no longer be wholly private. Shouldn't she be demanding a paternity test? ... If Story #2 unravels and turns into Cover up #2, will it have been a cover up of which Elizabeth has now been an active (if not necessarily knowing) promoter?

Here's a lot about how the mainstream media ran painfully obvious cover for Edwards:

The Edwards mess is the most recent and visible, but hardly unique, example of the mainstream media’s hear no evil/see no evil approach to newsgathering. How many other stories has the MSM missed, denied or avoided? From Rathergate to Reverend Wright to the success of the surge, the pattern is the same: MSM stalls, shuffles its collective feet, and doggedly ignores information for as long as possible until they can no longer do so with a straight face. The fact that these stories without exception work to the detriment of Democrats is apparently a grand coincidence. And the notion that they are upholding some “journalistic standard” is rendered absurd.

Edwards’ story wasn’t important on Thursday, but it was on Friday because he confessed? No, the level of proof changed, but the story’s relevance did not. If it wasn’t worthy of investigation before the ABC interview then it was unworthy of mention afterwards. Their explanation for their editorial decision-making is no more credible than . . . well than Edwards himself.

It's Good to Be the King

"How are you gals finding the Chinese sand?"

First; We Kill All the Dogs

The more guns, helmets and tactical toys you give to, uh, "law enforcement," the more chicknshit they get:

A police SWAT team raided the home of the mayor in the Prince George's County town of Berwyn Heights on Tuesday, shooting and killing his two dogs, after he brought in a 32-pound package of marijuana that had been delivered to his doorstep, police said.

Mayor Cheye Calvo was not arrested in the raid, which was carried out about 7 p.m. by the Sheriff's Office SWAT team and county police narcotics officers. Prince George's police spokesman Henry Tippett said yesterday that all the residents of the house -- Calvo, his wife and his mother-in-law -- are "persons of interest" in the case. The package was addressed to Calvo's wife, Trinity Tomsic, said law enforcement officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the case is ongoing.

They have to spend a few days getting their story straight.

Tippett said police are working to determine for whom the drugs were meant.

They're working on that now. After busting in. After tieing up the mother-in-law. After shooting the Labrador Retrievers to death.

"My government blew through my doors and killed my dogs," Calvo said. "They thought we were drug dealers, and we were treated as such. I don't think they
really ever considered that we weren't." Sgt. Mario Ellis, a Sheriff's Office spokesman, said the deputies who entered Calvo's home "apparently felt threatened" by the dogs.

See; chickeshits.

Berwyn Heights Police Chief Patrick Murphy said county police and the Sheriff's Office had not notified his department of the raid. He said town police could have conducted the search without a SWAT team. "You can't tell me the chief of police of a municipality wouldn't have been able to knock on the door of the mayor of that municipality, gain his confidence and enter the residence," Murphy said. "It would not have been a necessity to shoot and kill this man's dogs."

The updated versions of the story discuss the fact that Mrs. Mayor is the victim of identity theft and if anyone in the SWAT cult had done some basic police work, the dogs would still be in the kitchen wagging their tails.

Thursday, Calvo called on the U.S. Justice Department's civil rights division to investigate the raid and other similar actions by Prince George's law enforcement. He said officers burst into his house without knocking or announcing themselves, in violation of the warrant they had."Trinity was an innocent and random victim of identity theft. Apparently, so were four or five other county residents whose names and addresses were stolen and used as addresses on drug packages," Calvo said at a news conference outside his house, near a garden of tomatoes and strawberries."However, Trinity and our family have not been treated as victims of a crime. Instead, our home was invaded. Our two beloved Labrador retrievers are dead. My mother-in-law and I were tied up for nearly two hours," he said. "We were harmed by the very people who took an oath to protect us."

The story failed to mention where they all got their lobotomies prior to kicking in the door. Ah yes - no knock raid; among the things the founding fathers feared most. Here's a video link to the AP story - check out how the spokesthing for the armed county employees brushes aside the pathetic incompetence.

When Adults Have to Scold the Children

Here at the Dog Farm, we consume lots of print media. Most of that written by adults (as opposed to children), like this:

If Senator Obama is as exercised about "outrageous" profits as he says he is, he might also have to turn on a few liberal darlings. Oh, say, Berkshire Hathaway. Warren Buffett's outfit pulled in $11 billion last year, up 29% from 2006. Its profit margin -- if that's the relevant figure -- was 11.47%, which beats out the American oil majors. Or consider Google, which earned a mere $4.2 billion but at a whopping 25.3% margin. Google earns far more from each of its sales dollars than does Exxon, but why doesn't Mr. Obama consider its advertising-search windfall worthy of special taxation?

The point is that what constitutes an abnormal profit is entirely arbitrary. It is in the eye of the political beholder, who is usually looking to soak some unpopular business. In other words, a windfall is nothing more than a profit earned by a business that some politician dislikes. And a tax on that profit is merely a form of politically motivated expropriation. It's what politicians do in Venezuela, not in a free country.

Read the whole thing. It's exceptionally clear and it's conclusion shows that it's really not actually hyperbole to call Obama a Marxist on this one.

A Very Selective Sorry

I don't know when Steve Cohen is up for election, but he's already running for reelection - and painfully so:

It is not exactly clear at whom this apology is targeted. Many older American black people suffered from Jim Crow, but no younger ones did. As for slavery, apportioning the status of victim and perpetrator based on heredity is misguided. There are white Americans who are descended from slaves. There are black Americans who are descended from slave-owners. (One of them is running for president.) If slavery has warped US society as much as this bill claims, then all Americans of all races are owed an apology. Since that would be meaningless – no one can apologise to himself – the bill’s language excludes black people from the political family. To apologise to African-Americans” in the name of “the people of the United States” is to separate one from the other.

“Apologies are not empty gestures,” Mr Cohen said after the bill’s passage, “but are a necessary first step towards any sort of reconciliation between people.” Apparently a second step is required to lift the bill above suspicion of moral grandstanding. What is that step? It is some form of reparations, for which such legislation can provide a legal justification? Since reparations are a perennial political loser, the bill’s sponsors and defenders are keen to reassure Americans that their bill mentions no such thing. But following their logic, there is no reason it should not.

Read it all - God knows no one on tee vee has bothered to (or has the capacity to) give this so much thought.

As an aside - I have a hard time standing under the umbrella or all this congressional-mandated white guilt as I'm only fourth-generation American; seven of my eight great-grandparents got off the boat decades after the Civil War was decided.

Pelosi's Iron "Skirtin"

(Continuing to practice my Reynoldsisms) They told me if George W. Bush was reelected, rogue congressional leadership would stifle the peoples' elected representatives and strong arm the press, and they were right!

“This is the people’s House,” bellowed the House Republican Leader John Boehner, who spearheaded the unusual demonstration, “and the people deserve to be heard.” Congressman Boehner introduced each member who wished to address the large rambunctious crowd in the chamber.

At one point, the microphones and the lights in the Chamber shut off in an effort to discourage the rally, but members continued to speak—and shout—in the dark. The Capitol Police tried to remove reporters, and were it not for a rotation of Congressmen taking turns in the press gallery, the Sergeant at Arms would have
locked the doors at the Speaker’s request.

Almost as bad as removing the press and abusing her power, Nancy Pelosi slammed the door on any debate on how to deal with the issue that's #1 among Americans right now.