Chateau Wal Mart

You park in the cavernous lot, go through the automatic doors, and the seasoned-citizen greeter hands you . . . the wine list:

Chateau Traileur Parc
White Trashfindel
Big Red Gulp
World Championship Riesling
NASCARbernet
Chez Boyardeaux
Peanut Noir
I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
Nasti Spumante
Grape Expectations

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (possum) or red meat (squirrel).