24 January 2007

Big Oil Rides Again

It's not bad enough that Big Oil forces every American by law to drive supercharged Hummers (no hybrids or otherwise efficient cars available anywhere in the US, right?) and singlehandedly killed the electric car, which not only would have reduced our dependence on foreign oil, but cured cancer and eliminated static cling (hey - Alexandra Paul said so, so it's true).

But now Big Oil has bought and paid for a courtroom verdict (in TEXAS) against BioPerformance, that God-sent outfit that made the 'miracle mileage' pill. That's right, Big Oil rides again!Surely you remember that smelly but 100% effective pill you dropped in your gas tank that gave you significantly higher fuel mileage? Well now, we won't be able to buy them anymore, because Big Oil doesn't want us to be free of their economic deathgrip. Why, this is just like that 200 MPG carburetor that Big Oil snatched off the market in the 70's (and had its inventor KILLED!)

Oh sure, there were engineers (paid for by Big Oil!) that said that this miracle pill didn't really do anything, but to hell with the chemistry and physics and facts and stuff we don't understand, we KNOW that the pill worked. It gave us hope and since emotions always trump reason, we demand that the fraud verdict be overturned by Howard Dean and we won't rest until Bush is impeached for this and Big Oil is locked up!

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