23 August 2006

Getting Ratted Out and Paying For it

So you toodling down the highway one day and your cell phone rings:

Hello?

Hi Mr. American, this is the National Highway Federal Auto Safety Big Police Agency Bureau.

The what?

I'm required to tell you that you now have 2 more points on your driving record, and your insurance will go up 40% next month.

Why?

Well, you're speeding.

How do you know?

The OnStar system in your car called us. It took the data from the GPS system and event recorder that came standard on your car to show me that you just took a curve rated at 40 miles per hour at 48 miles per hour, and you are now doing 52 in a 45.

Jesus.

I've forwarded all that information to the national motor crime database, your insurance company and your car's manufaturer to get your warranty voided. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

You say "OctaneBoy, this'll never happen." Truth is, it's amazing it hasn't already happened more.

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