03 June 2005

End of World Cancelled Due to Rain.

It's a tough business saving the world, raising awareness, and obfuscating reality. Such is the case of Lonnie Dupre and Eric Larson. Our intrepid heroes decided that the best way for you to buy into global warming, was for them to hump it across the polar ice cap way yonder north. See, if they didn't go way out of sight and do something expensive, the Earth would get that much warmer.

No dummies these guys, they went in the summer. You know the drill: Pack up the grill, the lawn darts, the can coozies, and show all the dum-dums who use cars that the top of the planet is a lot like McAllen, Texas, sans border issues. Problem is, Mother Nature didn't get the Greenpeace press release:
Amid a stretch of extraordinarily heavy snowfall, strong winds and broken and shifting ice, the two men from Grand Marais, Minn., who had hoped to become the first adventurers to cross the Arctic Ocean in summer, abandoned their expedition Thursday after advancing only 45 miles in 24 days. Conditions were so treacherous, in fact, that the men, who had hoped to make the crossing to call attention to global warming and the receding polar ice cap, couldn't be picked up and airlifted out by helicopter until Friday.
Not only are these guys trained in survival and climatology, they also know a lot about public relations and spin control:

(Dupre) said he believed the weather extremes in the Arctic "are directly related to global warming."

That's right; when they reach their destination, and it's warm enough for horseshoes and a pig roast, it's because of global warming. When professional arctic explorer-types get blown off the map and have to hunker down under adventure-cancelling snow because it's too risky to get a chopper in there, it's STILL because of global warming.

Did I mention it's a beautiful night here on the edge of the Tundra?

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