Obama; He Saves!

Of course there's a video clip:

Of course the Russians complied with (Obama's) request. They've also started inflating their tires in order to reduce domestic demand and free up oil for export markets. It's like we don't even need to elect Obama to the White House--he can stop the rise of the seas, heal the planet, and bring us peace in our time just by issuing press releases from the comfort of his Hawaiian retreat.

Actually, Russia seems to have blown off that whole ceasefire thing, so maybe Obama can get back on the phone or something.