Waiting for Nick's Other Shoe

Here on the edge of the Tundra, we have Star Tribune columnist Nick Coleman intermittently providing his readers with the required outrage usually found in the perpetually unhappy. Even when the unwashed masses don't on their own find anything for which they should be cross, leave it to Coleman to assign an emotional state that all good comrades should adopt.

Not that long ago, he told us to get mad at Flatiron, Inc. Flatiron, the outfit that's going to rebuild the 35W bridge, had the audacity to purchase some new trucks in Colorado, where not only Flatiron is based (and where the trucks will return when the job's done), but also where they charge less sales tax on vehicle purchases, therefore, essentially saving money for Minnesota taxpayers. Nick started by played the emotional bed-wetting card:

Buying Colorado trucks for a high-profile project in Minnesota that still carries the emotional pangs of death and destruction? Dumb, Flatiron. This is a company that was judged to have better public "outreach" than the local firms that lost out on the project, despite submitting lower bids. Would a Minnesota company buy a shiny new fleet for the project from, say, Colorado?

Nonsense, of course, but that's to be expected from Nick. Flatiron's real crime was not doing the duty of all those vested in any way in the People's Republic of Minnesota, where there is no more noble act than feeding the appetite of the public coffers:

. . . the suggested retail price of the trucks as between $33,000 and $38,000 each. Taking an average of $35,500, those 21 gleaming new Flatiron trucks could have cost more than $700,000. Another 20 trucks, which Flatiron is considering, would bring the total to $1.4 million. Even with a generous fleet discount, we are talking a million dollars. While that may be a drop in the bucket on a $234 million project, a million bucks means $65,000 in lost sales taxes, which could have helped MnDOT add, who knows?

There it is; the lesson for all of us to take forward: If you don't piss away the people's money in this state by paying in to this state's tax trough, you are scum and should be drummed out of town. Okay, Nick; I got it. So now I await Nick's damnation for the funky new bike bridge:

Although the bridge is open, it is actually not quite done. Dean Michalko, an engineer for Hennepin County, said the bollard lights -- low lights under the railings to illuminate the pavement -- didn't arrive from Europe in time and so will be installed starting today. But the blue decorative lights, switched on as sunset approached, bathed the mast and cables in a glow of varied blues.

Over $5 million of public transportation funds and they can't get lights for it from Ole & Lena on Lake Street? Not one outlet under the thumb of the Minnesota Department of Revenue could possibly provide lighting for this folly? Come on Nick, break out the acid-tongued vitriol! There's no way the cost of those European lights fattened our municipal accounts. Let's see some hatred of the unnecessary bike bridge brought to us by the most glorious in-power progressive party of the people.

Who am I kidding. Look at these kooks. Nick's whole ideological constituency has things like bicycles, government pork and European lighting on their altars. There will be no printed hate from Nick on bike bridge matters.

Moving right along - there are two more very telling features in the bike bridge article. First, from the 'he who controls the language controls the world' department:

Hennepin County built the bridge with about $3 million in federal funds and $2.2 million of its own money.

Yea. Point of order - neither Hennipen County nor the federal government has any money. It's all your and my money. The paper should not obfuscate that. Also:

Minneapolis will own and maintain the bridge. (O)nce the bridge is in the city's possession, it will be named after Martin Sabo, the retired U.S. representative from Minneapolis who helped secure the money.

Classic Minnesota - grow, elect, deify and worship Democrats.