Although I don't know heaps of people who don't live here who also haven't
ever lived here, it seems I'm spend a lot of time explaining
this place to others who ask. I even spend time explaining this place to people who have lived here
but don't anymore. During these explanations, I always wind up trying to explain the
ginormous inferiority complex this region carries around. In reality, this land is still overrun with
Ah, Shucks folk and
You Betcha types who
don't know how to be cool in public. Our civic condition is recognizable in three forms:
First, we'll bend over quite far if it'll make us a friend. After about 20 years of the NFL in the perfectly-good outdoors, we hastily slapped together the
Hubie Humparena, because, you know, all the cool kids in Florida and California will never let us have one of those neat-o
Super Bowl things without a Tupperware-like facility.
Second, we
worship at the
feet of
anyone now
famous who even spent
ten minutes here. The hallmark of all notable Minnesota natives is that once they are able, they
get out and
do not come back, unless it's to tuck one's tail
after failure on the world's stage.
The third arm of this mutant state-of-being is that we are helpless in the face of those who would heap adualtion on us, for whatever fraudulent reason. The summit of this ailment is the
statue of Mary Tyler Moore, a
fictitions person, who starred in a crummy show that, in its six seasons, never shot a scene in this town other than the patronizing opening credit sequence. We'd
follow Mary off the cliff, see; never mind the fact she was make believe.
When they put up the staute, which is really an advertisement for a
cable TV station, it was a pretty embarrassing blight on Minneapolis' most prominant downtown pedestrian promonade, but then, the (then)
mayor chimed in, which just confused us for the target of our shame:
There are some who are pretty proud of that, including the mayor, Sharon Sayles Belton."There are quite a few women out there who watched the Mary Tyler Moore show and thought her character helped to affirm the fact that women can be in major leadership roles, and can break through that glass ceiling," says Sayles Belton.
Yea, see, Mary was the worker bee. She never got promoted once on the show, but Sharon,
you go, girl.
Anyway, this whole tirade came up because
Eddie Albert died today. He was another one of those famous people who spent about 10 minutes in Minnesota, and I'm sure his passing will be
hold-the-presses news. No ill will toward Albert; 99 is a good run, but I've got
other lives to study first, if you please.